Anheuser Busch Will Discontinue and Re-Brand Bud Light

For decades, Bud Light dominated the American beer market. Through clever marketing campaigns targeting a profitable demographic, the brand was number one both at the bar and in retail stores.

With the onslaught of craft brews and IPAs, however, watered-down American lagers became less and less desirable to beer drinkers. In response, Bud Light looked to seek new customers outside of its typical base.

Less than a month later, the brand is on its way to the scrapyard. Anheuser Busch admits that the Dylan Mulvaney partnership was a horrible idea that irreparably harmed the iconic beer and will discontinue it when the current production run ends.

CEO Jow Barron says it’s a necessary switch and that he looks forward to working with marketing directors suggested by Kid Rock to relaunch the all-new “Bud Zero.”

Bus zero will offer zero carbs, zero sugars, zero calories, and in keeping in tradition with Budweiser products, zero flavor. “The morons complaining that their pisswater is gay will love it,” said Mulvaney, “I’m personally moving on to Snapple.”

Snapple stock plummeted more than .06 points at the news, giving conservatives something new they don’t understand to laugh at. God Bless you, Snapple. And God Bless America.

Related Posts

SAD NEWS 30 minutes ago in San Diego, the Family of ‘STEVE HARVEY’ announced the very sad news of Hollywood, he was confirmed…

Iп a deeply emotioпal statemeпt released jυst momeпts ago from Saп Diego, the family of icoпic televisioп host aпd comediaп Steve Harvey shared tragic пews that has…

Beloved country music star Randy Travis is once again at the ….

Fans around the world are reeling after a heartbreaking announcement from the family of Randy Travis, the beloved country music icon whose unmistakable voice and inspirational comeback…

It’s Rare to See Her Like This – She’s Natural Beauty Shines Bright at 55

How often do we get to see a public figure just as they are — no glam squad, no fancy lights, no perfectly staged moment? It’s rare,…

Jennifer Lopez Confirmed..

As speculation spreads rapidly, J.Lo’s followers have flooded social media with comments and prayers for her safety. Some believe it could be a misunderstanding, while others anxiously…

Federal Crackdown Intensifies

In a significant demonstration of the federal government’s unwavering commitment to border security, multiple enforcement actions have recently culminated in arrests and convictions across Texas. These operations…

VERY SAD NEWS: 11 minutes ago in Nashville, Tennessee

In a moment that has shaken the country music world, Mary Travis, wife and lifelong caregiver of country music legend Randy Travis, made a tearful announcement just…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *