“The Conners” Cancels Whoopi Goldberg’s Guest Spot: “She’ll Drive Down Ratings”

ABC’s super-woke sitcom-turned-social justice warrior showcase, “The Conners,” announced a special guest appearance this season by none other than Whoopi Goldberg.

Then the letters and emails started.

It seems that nobody, not even the uber-wokers who watch that garbage, wants anything to do with Whoopi after her latest stunt.

According to our source at the network, the episode has been officially canceled and the cast will have to reshoot without Whoopi’s character.

“We were gonna re-cast the rolls with Alyssa Milano,” said director Joe Barron, “but she was otherwise occupied with an Elon Musk lawsuit.”

What does that mean for Whoopi? It means she won’t get the $3 million payout for appearing in 4 minutes of poorly-written dramacom, and she won’t get the points she needs to qualify for a floor seat at the Oscars this year.

“It’s a little bit unfair,” said Goldberg’s spokesman, Skip Tetheludah, “considering we weren’t informed of the rule change until after midnight last Tuesday. Under these circumstances, Ms. Goldberg should be able to re-qualify by picking up a spot on Grey’s Anatomy.”

Of course she wants to just bypass the rules and do what’s best for Whoopi Goldberg, patriots, because she’s Whoopi Goldberg.

For what it’s worth, Whoopi was also canceled from Star Trek. God Bless America.

Related Posts

A Double Board Certified Neurologist Thinks Joe Biden Could Be Experiencing Vascular Dementia

A prominent neurologist, double board certified, has addressed various media reports suggesting that US President Joe Biden might be suffering from Parkinson’s disease. However, he brought up…

Is Pope Leo XIV the final Pope? Chilling prophecy sparks debate

The entire Catholic world is buzzing after the election of Pope Leo XIV. The 69-year-old former Cardinal Robert Prevost was confirmed as the new head of the…

What are portholes on cows, and why do they exist?

When you think of a ”porthole,” you probably picture a small round window on a ship or airplane, right? Well, prepare to be shocked: portholes are also…

US Supreme Court greenlights Trump’s military trans ban

Trump has been enacting a lot of things he had promised his voters recently. The most recent act has been his plan to ban transgender people from…

The amazing story of Katie Stubblefield: She became the youngest person to receive a face transplant

Katie Stubblefield had her whole life in front of her, but everything changed after her boyfriend broke up with her, aged 18. Tragically, the teenager shot herself,…

Transgender man angry at nurses misgendering him after giving birth

These days, using someone’s preferred name and pronouns is the best way to demonstrate respect and acknowledgment of their identity, be they straight, gay, or transgender. However,…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *