Talladega “Pride Day” Sets Record for Lowest Attendance in Track History

Yet another milestone for the failing enterprise that is “Pride.” For a while, it was mainstream. Then the boycotts started. Now during the month that is supposed to celebrate the movement, “Pride” is a disastrous flop.

The proof is in the pudding, as some would say. Already, the NHL has canceled Pride Nights. Major League Baseball players are refusing to play and could shut the season down.

And now, in another dramatic display of horrible marketing, the Talladega Speedway just set the all-time record for lowest attendance in track history, on “Pride Day.”

“I think it was still fun,” said track supervisor Steve Ashbaucher, who is also half-gay, “but I don’t think we should do it again. It probably cost the owners half a mill or more to run a race with no fans in the stands.”

An official for the Talladega Speedway refused to comment, assuring us that the event didn’t harm the track or the sport.

“I’m sure there won’t be any blowback,” said Track Owner Joe Barron, “because it didn’t actually happen.” Barron pointed out that stories such as these often just occur spontaneously within the confines of the neural circuitry of a guy named Flaggt.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Shame on you, Talladega! And as always, patriots, God Bless America.

Related Posts

20 Minutes ago in Minneapolis, Jacob Frey was confirmed as…See more

Twenty minutes ago in Minneapolis, Jacob Frey was officially confirmed as the central figure in a rapidly developing announcement that has drawn immediate attention across the city…

Drunk Guy Gets Pulled Over

Late one quiet night, a drunk guy gets pulled over after swerving just enough to catch a patrol car’s attention on an otherwise empty road. The officer…

Fateful Morning: A Routine Drop-Off Turns Deadly

night agents came for Becca, neighbors say the house was quiet. No shouting, no struggle—just the soft thud of a door closing and the car pulling away…

This visual test reveals your ‘worst flaw’ based on the first animal you see

An image circulating widely on social media claims to reveal your worst flaw based on the first animal you see. The illustration initially resembles a human face…

URGENT: Serious accident leaves 9 M0RT0S, among them was our beloved Fab… See more

A devastating accident between a van and a truck turned Tuesday night (13) into a scene of tragedy on BR-251, in Grão Mogol, in the North of…

Eating Sprouted Potatoes: Is It Safe?

recently dug through my pantry, mostly searching for pasta but also avoiding actual work. That’s when I found a bag of potatoes… and they had sprouted. Not…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *