Talladega “Pride Day” Sets Record for Lowest Attendance in Track History

Yet another milestone for the failing enterprise that is “Pride.” For a while, it was mainstream. Then the boycotts started. Now during the month that is supposed to celebrate the movement, “Pride” is a disastrous flop.

The proof is in the pudding, as some would say. Already, the NHL has canceled Pride Nights. Major League Baseball players are refusing to play and could shut the season down.

And now, in another dramatic display of horrible marketing, the Talladega Speedway just set the all-time record for lowest attendance in track history, on “Pride Day.”

“I think it was still fun,” said track supervisor Steve Ashbaucher, who is also half-gay, “but I don’t think we should do it again. It probably cost the owners half a mill or more to run a race with no fans in the stands.”

An official for the Talladega Speedway refused to comment, assuring us that the event didn’t harm the track or the sport.

“I’m sure there won’t be any blowback,” said Track Owner Joe Barron, “because it didn’t actually happen.” Barron pointed out that stories such as these often just occur spontaneously within the confines of the neural circuitry of a guy named Flaggt.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Shame on you, Talladega! And as always, patriots, God Bless America.

Related Posts

Trump Admin Launches

Following his earlier efforts to restore order in Washington, D.C., Trump announced in early September that the National Guard would be deployed to Memphis. He also established…

Here’s what the letter ‘M’ on the palm of your hand truly signifies

Palmistry, or the practice of interpreting the lines and shapes of a person’s hands for the sake of revealing something about their future or their personality, has…

DEMS BLOCKED REAL HEALTHCARE REFORM

Speaker Mike Johnson didn’t mince words when he revealed the shocking political move hidden inside the latest government funding battle. While Congress scrambled to avoid a shutdown,…

Social Security COLA Update 2025

Millions of Americans are bracing for another shift in their monthly Social Security checks as 2025 approaches, but this time the increase feels different. After last year’s…

With heavy hearts, we announce the passing.

Melanie Safka, the singer behind 1970s hits “Brand New Key” and “Lay Down (Candles in the Rain),” passed away on January 23, 2024, at 76. Her children,…

Why does a green ring appear around hard-boiled eggs?

You’ve made hard-boiled eggs for your salad, and then… surprise: a green circle surrounds the yolk. It’s common, but far from tasty. Despite the fact that you…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *