John Elway Lays Down The Law: ‘Kneel On My Field And You’re Fired On The Spot’

John Elway, former Super Bowl-winning quarterback and Head of Football Operations for the Denver Broncos, has laid down some ground rules for the upcoming season of the NFL. According to our sources inside the locker room who may or may not have direct knowledge of what’s going on, Elway is already polishing up his index finger to point at the traitors he’ll fire.

Our sports correspondent in the field, James Osborne, says the players are taking the warnings very seriously:

“Elway has made it clear that he won’t stand for any disrespecting of our flag. One of the assistants to an assistant coach said he heard Elway screaming in his office that ‘anyone kneeling on his field during the National Anthem will be fired. If they’re from another team, they’ll be escorted out and not allowed to play.’ We’re not really sure how to enforce that one, but it looks like we’ll have to try or be fired ourselves by old pigeon feet.”

Elway isn’t messing around. Back in 2017, he fired three players on the spot for kneeling, setting off a chain reaction of fact-checking stories and attacks on satire by Snopes.

In the end, the players were reinstated because they weren’t real, and Elway was able to keep his public image of being an intolerant jackass completely intact.

God bless you, John Elway, and God Bless America

Related Posts

Reports here, unbelievable earthquake with large magnitude tsunami warning just

A powerful 8.2 magnitude earthquake struck the Alaskan Peninsula late Wednesday, prompting tsunami warnings and heightened monitoring across the Pacific. The quake, at a depth of 35…

Heartbreaking truth behind Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban split comes to light

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have called time on their marriage, according to shock reports today. The iconic celebrity couple, officially an item since almost 20 years…

Heartbreaking truth behind Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban split comes to light

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have called time on their marriage, according to shock reports today. The iconic celebrity couple, officially an item since almost 20 years…

Man tried to get eaten alive by snake – instantly regretted it

A man who tried to get eaten alive by a giant snake rued his decision immediately as it began to happen. Ask most self-respecting conservationists and they’ll…

Woman left limbless after horrific dog attack during bike ride

A woman has had her limbs surgically removed after a shocking attack by two pitbulls while she was out riding her bicycle. According to reports, the horrifying…

Sean Penn’s haunting 6-word response to Charlie Kirk killing

Despite disagreeing with “almost everything” conservative activist Charlie Kirk stood for, Sean Penn said “we need that guy,” warning that the “horror” of political violence is “coming…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *