“The Conners” Cancels Whoopi Goldberg’s Guest Spot: “She’ll Drive Down Ratings”

ABC’s super-woke sitcom-turned-social justice warrior showcase, “The Conners,” announced a special guest appearance this season by none other than Whoopi Goldberg.

Then the letters and emails started.

It seems that nobody, not even the uber-wokers who watch that garbage, wants anything to do with Whoopi after her latest stunt.

According to our source at the network, the episode has been officially canceled and the cast will have to reshoot without Whoopi’s character.

“We were gonna re-cast the rolls with Alyssa Milano,” said director Joe Barron, “but she was otherwise occupied with an Elon Musk lawsuit.”

What does that mean for Whoopi? It means she won’t get the $3 million payout for appearing in 4 minutes of poorly-written dramacom, and she won’t get the points she needs to qualify for a floor seat at the Oscars this year.

“It’s a little bit unfair,” said Goldberg’s spokesman, Skip Tetheludah, “considering we weren’t informed of the rule change until after midnight last Tuesday. Under these circumstances, Ms. Goldberg should be able to re-qualify by picking up a spot on Grey’s Anatomy.”

Of course she wants to just bypass the rules and do what’s best for Whoopi Goldberg, patriots, because she’s Whoopi Goldberg.

For what it’s worth, Whoopi was also canceled from Star Trek. God Bless America.

Related Posts

Funny Joke ‣ The Rookie Pilot

There is a rookie pilot and a co-pilot and they are coming in for a landing. The pilot says, “Damn that runway is small, give me 1/4…

Court, a Teen Burglar Mocked the Judge — But What His Mother Did Next Changed Everything

The Hamilton County Courthouse buzzed with anticipatory tension the moment seventeen-year-old Ryan Cooper entered Courtroom 3B, his chin raised in deliberate defiance, the rubber soles of his…

The Meaning Behind Blue Porch Lights:

Over the past decade, blue porch lights have grown in popularity. A 2022 survey by Porch Trends found that 12% of American households displayed blue porch lights…

9 things you should never plug into a power strip

It’s hard to imagine life without electricity, but today we’re so reliant on it that we often overlook safety. High-wattage devices like air conditioners and toasters can…

The 17-year-old who went missing 7 days ago has been found, his dad was involved… See more

After an intense week-long search, authorities have finally located the 17-year-old teenager who had disappeared under mysterious circumstances. The search had gripped the local community, with volunteers…

Woman missing for more than a year with her 2 children is found inside the.. See more

woman who had been missing for more than a year along with her two young children has finally been found, bringing both relief and sorrow to a…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *