John Elway Lays Down The Law: ‘Kneel On My Field And You’re Fired On The Spot’

John Elway, former Super Bowl-winning quarterback and Head of Football Operations for the Denver Broncos, has laid down some ground rules for the upcoming season of the NFL. According to our sources inside the locker room who may or may not have direct knowledge of what’s going on, Elway is already polishing up his index finger to point at the traitors he’ll fire.

Our sports correspondent in the field, James Osborne, says the players are taking the warnings very seriously:

“Elway has made it clear that he won’t stand for any disrespecting of our flag. One of the assistants to an assistant coach said he heard Elway screaming in his office that ‘anyone kneeling on his field during the National Anthem will be fired. If they’re from another team, they’ll be escorted out and not allowed to play.’ We’re not really sure how to enforce that one, but it looks like we’ll have to try or be fired ourselves by old pigeon feet.”

Elway isn’t messing around. Back in 2017, he fired three players on the spot for kneeling, setting off a chain reaction of fact-checking stories and attacks on satire by Snopes.

In the end, the players were reinstated because they weren’t real, and Elway was able to keep his public image of being an intolerant jackass completely intact.

God bless you, John Elway, and God Bless America

Related Posts

Vanna White

The pre-taped messaged aired during Thursday night’s show.“I can’t believe that tomorrow is our last show together,” White, 67, said in the clip. I don’t know how…

Obama …

Trump announced a sweeping set of tariffs on April 2, 2025, dubbing the day “Liberation Day.”The new policy imposes a universal 10% tariff on all imports, with…

This is what really happened to Jacqueline Bisset

acqueline Bisset is magnificent – in so many ways. In a career spanning 58 years and a portfolio that includes about 50 films, the 80-year-old actress shows…

Smallpox vaccine scars: What they look like and why

I have a clear memory of noticing a distinct scar on my mother’s arm when I was a child. It sits high up, close to her shoulder,…

Why this female worker wants to ditch her shirt

The differences and inequalities between men and women have been a central part of societal debate for hundreds of years — and the topic remains just as…

Pamela Anderson stuns fans after returning to her iconic ’90s look

Pamela Anderson is turning back the clock — and turning heads — with a bold return to the glammed-up look that made her a global icon in…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *