Editor’s Note: If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental health matters, please call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to connect with a trained counselor or visit the Lifeline site.

Ellen DeGeneres fought back tears in her first public video statement since the death of beloved talk show personality and her friend Stephen “tWitch” Boss.

“Hey everybody. I just wanted to say the past 11 days have been really tough for everyone,” DeGeneres said in a video posted to her social media accounts on Friday. “Everyone is in pain and trying to make sense of it, and we’ll never make sense of it.”

Boss, the amiable DJ for “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” and a dancer who rose to fame on “So You Think You Can Dance,” died earlier this month. He died by suicide, according to the LA County Medical Examiner.

DeGeneres released a statement shortly after news of Boss’s death became public, saying she was “heartbroken” over his passing.